Relationships Life & growth

How to support someone who is struggling

Be there for someone in a hard time without making it about you.

A course for the friend, partner or relative of someone going through something difficult. It covers how to be present, what helps and what does not, and when and how to encourage more support than you can give.

Want new features first?

Start with three things you can do today

A starting goal

Someone close to me is going through a hard time and I do not know how to help. Teach me how to be present, what to say and not say, and when to encourage more support.

Change any word so it fits your situation. The course is built from what you type and a few setup questions.

Start today

Three things you can do before the course exists.

Useful on their own. The course is for when you want the whole skill, not just the first move.

Offer help with consent
Original example: 'I can bring dinner on Tuesday if that would help. Is there anything you cannot eat?' A specific offer reduces guesswork while letting the person decline or suggest something else.
Listen and check your capacity
Ask what they want to share and what support already exists. Be honest about what you can provide. Avoid diagnosing them, promising secrecy about imminent danger, or taking over decisions unnecessarily.
Know when ordinary support is not enough
If there is immediate danger, contact appropriate emergency help. Otherwise, you can support access to professional help with their consent. Check that your support respects their preferences and your own limits; one friend cannot provide every form of care.

Sources: NHS: relationships, support and safety. Practical examples are starting points, not promised results.

Best for: Relationships
Prerequisites: None. Bring the situation you have.
Course length: 7 to 30 lessons
Pace: Yours. One lesson at a time, as often as you like.
Format: Read it, or play the audio
Access: Available on the App Store and Google Play, with an optional early testing list

Before the course is built

Setup asks about your situation first.

Lesson 1 opens on the moment you describe, and the examples use your role. For this request, expect questions like these.

Who is struggling, and with what, broadly: loss, illness, mental health, a life crisis?
What do you tend to do: fix, cheer up, avoid, or hover?
Are you worried they need professional help?

Right for now

If any of this sounds familiar, start here.

You do not know what to say

So you say nothing, or the wrong thing.

You keep trying to fix it

And they keep withdrawing.

You are getting exhausted

Supporting them is taking everything you have.

Course arc

Where the course goes, in order.

Cadence writes the lessons for you, so the exact path follows your answers. This is the ground a course built from this sentence covers.

01 / 06

What helps

Asking what kind of support is wanted, while checking safety and your capacity.

What does not

Noticing when reassurance, advice or comparison is unwanted.

Words

What to say when nothing feels right.

Practical support

Specific offers over let me know if you need anything.

Encouraging professional help

Raising it gently, and what to do if they refuse.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone without burning out.

What changes

What you will be able to do, and what you will stop believing.

You will be able to

Be present usefully

Show up in ways that actually help.

Know what to say and not say

Choose considerate language and check how the person receives it.

Encourage more help

Discuss professional support considerately without controlling how it will be received.

Ideas this course corrects

Support requires the perfect words

Practical help, respectful listening and appropriate professional support can all have roles.

You must keep helping beyond your capacity

Clear limits help make commitments realistic; seek additional support when needs exceed them.

Course questions

What to know before you start.

How to support someone who is struggling: what can I do today?

Offer help with consent. Original example: 'I can bring dinner on Tuesday if that would help. Is there anything you cannot eat?' A specific offer reduces guesswork while letting the person decline or suggest something else. Listen and check your capacity. Ask what they want to share and what support already exists. Be honest about what you can provide. Avoid diagnosing them, promising secrecy about imminent danger, or taking over decisions unnecessarily. Know when ordinary support is not enough. If there is immediate danger, contact appropriate emergency help. Otherwise, you can support access to professional help with their consent. Check that your support respects their preferences and your own limits; one friend cannot provide every form of care.

Is this a fixed course?

No. Cadence builds the course when you type the sentence and answer a few setup questions, so the lessons follow your situation. This page describes what a course built from this request covers. You see the whole path before Lesson 1.

Who is this course for?

Do I need any prior experience?

No. Setup asks what you already know and where you want to use it, and the course starts from there. Bring a real situation if you have one; the examples are built around it.

How long does it take?

Most courses run 7 to 30 lessons. The course length is sized to what you asked for. You set the pace: one lesson at a time, as often as you like. Lessons can be read or played as audio.

Does this course award a certificate or degree?

No. Cadence is for practical self-learning and does not award accredited degrees or professional certification.