You moved somewhere new
Everyone seems to have their groups already.
Courses
Start with three things you can do today
How to make friends as an adult
Turn friendly acquaintances into people you actually see.
Find places where you will see the same people repeatedly, make a specific first invitation, and follow up without keeping score. The course covers why adult friendship takes time, how to handle the awkward stage in the middle, and how to keep going when an invitation goes nowhere.
Type this when Cadence asks what you want to learn
I moved to a new city last year and I still do not have friends here. Work friends stay at work and I never know how to turn a friendly chat into actually meeting up. I want a plan that gets me from strangers to people I see.
Change any word so it fits your situation. The course is built from what you type and a few setup questions.
Start today
Four things you can do before the course exists.
Useful on their own. The course is for when you want the whole skill, not just the first move.
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Pick one weekly thing with the same faces
A one-off meetup rarely produces a friend on its own. A class, team, choir or volunteering shift that meets weekly gives you repeated contact. Choose one that fits your schedule and go four times before judging it.
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Budget the hours honestly
In a University of Kansas study of adults who had recently moved, people estimated about 40 to 60 hours together to become casual friends and more than 200 hours to become good friends. Treat these as rough self-reported figures, and plan in months, not weeks.
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Make the invitation specific
Illustrative script: 'I am going to the Saturday market after class next week. Do you want to come?' A time, a place and an easy way to decline work better than 'We should hang out sometime.'
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Follow up once after silence
If a message goes unanswered, wait a week and suggest one new, specific plan. If two specific invitations get no reply, put your energy into other people in the group without deciding you are unlikeable.
Sources: University of Kansas: how many hours it takes to make a friend. Practical examples are starting points, not promised results.
- Best for
- Relationships
- Prerequisites
- None. Bring the situation you have.
- Course length
- 7 to 30 lessons, sized to your goal
- Lesson pace
- About 10 minutes a day
- Format
- Read it, or play the audio
- Access
- Available on the App Store, with early features and Android testing access
Before the course is built
Setup asks about your situation first.
Lesson 1 opens on the moment you describe, and the examples use your role. For this request, expect questions like these.
- What changed: a move, a new job, a breakup, friends having children, or something else?
- How much free time do you have in a typical week, and when?
- What do you enjoy doing that could involve other people?
- What usually stops you: starting conversations, making plans, or keeping in touch?
Right for now
If any of this sounds familiar, start here.
Your old friends drifted
Different cities, schedules and stages of life pulled you apart.
You get on with people but it stops there
Friendly chats never turn into plans.
Course arc
Where the course goes, in order.
Cadence writes the lessons for you, so the exact path follows your answers. This is the ground a course built from this sentence covers.
01 / 06Why it is harder now
Fewer built-in places to see the same people, and less spare time.
Where friendships start
Repeated, shared activities, and why one-off events rarely do it alone.
From chat to plan
Turning a good conversation into a specific invitation.
The awkward middle
The weeks when you are more than acquaintances and less than friends.
Handling no and silence
Reading a decline fairly and deciding whether to ask again.
Keeping it going
Simple rhythms that keep a new friendship alive.
What changes
What you will be able to do, and what you will stop believing.
You will be able to
Choose places that repeat
Pick activities where the same people show up week after week.
Make the first invitation
Ask for something specific that is easy to say yes or no to.
Follow up without keeping score
Keep contact going after a slow reply or a missed plan.
Ideas this course corrects
Friendship should happen naturally
As an adult it usually takes deliberate, repeated contact. Planning it is not a sign that something is wrong with you.
If they wanted to be friends, they would invite me
Many people wait to be asked. A missing invitation is often shyness or a busy week, not rejection.
Course questions
What to know before you start.
How to make friends as an adult: what can I do today?
Pick one weekly thing with the same faces. A one-off meetup rarely produces a friend on its own. A class, team, choir or volunteering shift that meets weekly gives you repeated contact. Choose one that fits your schedule and go four times before judging it. Budget the hours honestly. In a University of Kansas study of adults who had recently moved, people estimated about 40 to 60 hours together to become casual friends and more than 200 hours to become good friends. Treat these as rough self-reported figures, and plan in months, not weeks. Make the invitation specific. Illustrative script: 'I am going to the Saturday market after class next week. Do you want to come?' A time, a place and an easy way to decline work better than 'We should hang out sometime.' Follow up once after silence. If a message goes unanswered, wait a week and suggest one new, specific plan. If two specific invitations get no reply, put your energy into other people in the group without deciding you are unlikeable.
Is this a fixed course?
No. Cadence builds the course when you type the sentence and answer a few setup questions, so the lessons follow your situation. This page describes what a course built from this request covers. You see the whole path before Lesson 1.
Who is this course for?
Find places where you will see the same people repeatedly, make a specific first invitation, and follow up without keeping score. The course covers why adult friendship takes time, how to handle the awkward stage in the middle, and how to keep going when an invitation goes nowhere. It sits under Relationships in the Life & growth part of the library.
Do I need any prior experience?
No. Setup asks what you already know and where you want to use it, and the course starts from there. Bring a real situation if you have one; the examples are built around it.
How long does it take?
Courses run 7 to 30 lessons of about 10 minutes, sized to what you asked for. One lesson a day is the intended pace, and you can go faster. Lessons can be read or played as audio.
Does this course award a certificate or degree?
No. Cadence is for practical self-learning and does not award accredited degrees or professional certification.
Start today
Type it, answer a few questions, open Lesson 1.
The sentence to type
I moved to a new city last year and I still do not have friends here. Work friends stay at work and I never know how to turn a friendly chat into actually meeting up. I want a plan that gets me from strangers to people I see.